Eternal Yard Dash

"There are two bodies - the rudimental and the complete; corresponding with the two conditions of the worm and the butterfly. What we call "death," is but the painful metamorphosis. Our present incarnation is progressive, preparatory, temporary. Our future is perfected, ultimate, immortal. The ultimate life is the full design." - Edgar Allan Poe

Today marks a year since the legend Nipsey Hussle passed away. Earlier, I thought about pouring out my last bit of D’ussé, lighting up one of my numerous cigars and playing some of my favorite Nip tracks that I play throughout the year. From there, I would possibly use that time to search for the clarity that I usually find at the bottom of the bottle, but this headache made me take a detour. Even without the liquor, my overthinking took me down a rabbit hole just the same. I started to think about our final inevitable act on this earth: death. I’ve dwelled on how I feel about this event several times in my life. I’ve always stated that you’re put this planet to do a job. Once that job is complete, your time is up. Now there is a small group of people who seem to have a sixth sense or are totally in tune with their Higher Power to the point where they know what they are supposed to do here. Others, clumsily move around life not knowing what their purpose might be. Everyone else is somewhere in between. I feel that I’m in that “in between” category. I know that I’m here for a reason, so I will live my life, do what I can and try to impact the people that I need to touch. I think my fear lies in they dying part. There are several ways that I don’t want to go out. I know I don’t have a choice in this but it’s wishful thinking to die the way you want to at times. But this is not the reason I wanted to write this post. It’s all about legacy.

What I mean by legacy is how people will remember you. Back inside the rabbit hole I thought of a memory of a classmate that recently passed away. I had one memory of him. It was a great high school memory, but I couldn’t tell you what we talked about, what jokes were said or anything that was mentioned. I literally can only remember the reason why this memory happened and what we did. While I’ve been doing a lot of binge-watching, I also thought about phrases that people have that are remembered by their kids or grandkids. It made me think how those small things keep your legacy alive. Little quotes that are said often without thinking was one of the first things I thought about. For example, if I had a phrase that I’d say all the time around my daughter, then years later my grandchild says it after I’ve passed without the knowledge that it’s one of my quotes in front of my daughter, this could spark a conversation about me. Ergo, keeping my name and memory alive. I struggle with thoughts of how long it will be when I have my second death (your first death is when you’re not physically around anymore; the second death is when they stop mentioning you). I know both deaths are finite, but I feel we have more control of the second go round. Yes, we are born in this world alone and we will die alone, but the time in between we can make impacts so that our name and memory can live on long after we become dust.

The thoughts in this post are why I’m trying harder to get my book published and out to people. I want to broaden my name and it’s not about my ego. I have family and friends from different walks of life whose opinions I value. They give me the courage to step from the shadows. This is also the reason I value relationships so much. If I consider you friend or family, you are that to me from the moment this relationship is established until the moment where it becomes an effort to keep the relationship afloat. I’d rather spend my time solidifying valuable relationships than wasting time straining to keep an insignificant relationship together. So make unforgettable stories so your legacy has legs to run the marathon when we can’t be on this earth anymore and also be able to grab the baton for friend with hopes they will do the same for you.

The marathon continues…..