The Rage Within

It wasn’t until a year or so ago I actually took a good look at my anger. Before then, I looked at my anger as something I needed in my life. I felt like it was a major part of me. At times dangerous but for the most part controlled. Before a few years ago, I had a handful of vices that curbed my anger. You mad? Go smoke a cigarette. Let that nicotine calm you. You mad? Get a drink; half the bottle should do it. You mad? Go listen to the playlist or album that eases your mind. You mad? Pop another bottle. You still mad? You know what you need to do. But I wonder. Did those vices curb my anger or did they hide an underlying problem that I had been dealing with my whole life? Maybe it never showed much in my adolescence since I didn’t have adulting to do. But wait. At 5 I had my first pizza because of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Who’s my favorite? Raphael, the angry one. What about Mickey Mouse? Never like him but you know who I do like? You guessed it. Donald Duck. I mean, Goofy’s cool, but Donald was my favorite. Looney Tunes? Taz hands down. It couldn’t have crossed over into adulthood. Who’s my favorite Marvel character? The Hulk. Wow. A bunch of angry people. Might as well throw Stitch in the mix too. He’s cool. They all were to me. It almost looked as if their anger protected them. Like it shielded them from the aggressor. I saw a therapist for my anger because more things were lighting my short fuse. This may have been because my vices were dwindling. It helped because it showed me that looking at situations that might cause me anger differently could lengthen my fuse. Yes, Ralph got mad in the first movie, went away and got his ass beat by The Foot, but it brought his brothers closer and they became stronger from that. Stitch was an angry alien, but Lilo was able to look through his anger and show him what family meant. Hulk is full of rage, but he saves the day because of it. I always look at anger as a good thing if controlled. Indeed it’s a very volatile emotion, but too much of any emotion could be dangerous. Even happiness. Each of us just has to be cognizant of the emotion that we have trouble with. I just have to remember: “The sun is getting real low…”.